How to Be a Superhero: Tips If You Have a Super Power

How to Be a Superhero

photo of a nerd for Do You Have a SuperpowerDo you have a super power?

Don’t do anything until you read the following tips:

1. Do not jump to conclusions

It’s possible you may not actually have a super power.  If you were bitten by a spider, make sure to check that it wasn’t just a regular spider.  Do you merely feel super?  That is no guarantee but it is a good sign.  If you have a superpower, great responsibility is yours.

superhero spiderman

Bitten by a Regular Spider? You May Not Have Received a Superpower

2. Do not tell anyone that you have a super power

If you do have a super power, it is extremely important that you keep it a secret.  If you don’t actually have a super power, it’s also pretty important to keep it secret.  It is your duty to protect friends and loved ones by assuming a secret identity.

3. Decide how to use your super power

If you decide to use your super power to fight crime and help people, you will be categorized as a superhero.  If you decide to use your super power for evil, you are a super villain.  Simple.  But if you use your super power sometimes for good and sometimes for evil, well, you’re probably still going to end up being considered a super villain.  People have very high expectations of superheros: they expect them to be good.  All the time.  If you’re still not sure whether or not you really have a superpower, let me suggest being good, at least for now.

4. Don’t get the suit right away

Superhero suits, especially high-quality ones, with mask, boots, cape and utility belt, are quite expensive.  Yes, a suit is important to protect your secret identity.  You may think a superhero suit is a must.  But if you put it on your credit card assuming your superpowers will allow you to crush coal into diamonds, or find treasure with X-ray vision, and it doesn’t pan out, you may get a call from your credit card company and it will get very complicated explaining the situation without revealing your secret identity.  So don’t get the suit right away.

5. Anticipate skepticismphoto of a critical person

Police and law enforcement types may not welcome your help.  This is natural.  Even if you have a suit, they may not be prepared to partner with you.  The police may question whether or not you really have a super power, whether you should be involved in fighting crime, whether you can find riches quickly, or even whether you should be running around loose. 

6. Practice

Start out by helping people in small ways.  If your power is super strength, try helping an old lady with her groceries.  Do NOT try to carry four bags.  Old ladies can be quite grumpy when you drop even some of their groceries.  If you have the power of telepathy or super hypnosis, do not start trying to use it on girls.  Just take my word for it on this one.

7. Introduce yourself to other superheroes

Most superheroes join leagues.  If your town doesn’t have any superheroes, you can search for them on the web.  Again, don’t jump right into telling people that you have superpowers.  Also, keep in mind that some people merely BELIEVE that they have superpowers.  This can lead to disappointment when joining a league or confederation.

8. Try to get a sidekick

All really good superheroes have sidekicks.  Remember: your sidekick does NOT have to have superpowers.  Jimmy Olson, for example, has no superpowers.  It is MUCH easier to find a sidekick without superpowers.  And it’s not that hard if you’re willing to treat for lunches. Make sure to swear your sidekick to secrecy.  This is surprisingly easy, too.

Your Sidekick Should Be Smaller than You Are, But Not Too Much Smaller

 

9. Don’t quit your day job

Fighting crime on a freelance volunteer basis doesn’t pay that well.  If you made the mistake of buying a suit too early you may be tempted to switching over to being a part-time super villain, but as discussed above, that can get complicated. 

That’s it!  How to Be a Superhero  Hope these tips have helped.  Good luck with your new super power! 

Check out:  9 Largely Ignored Superheroes 

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About AstroGremlin

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This entry was posted in Humor, Product Review and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to How to Be a Superhero: Tips If You Have a Super Power

  1. Rose Webster says:

    Dear Astro G,

    I would love to point to your series here about superheroes and how to manage super powers in my article Five Noteworthy Superheroes (you’ve just visited it). I’d like to use the Link List module so that I can list the ones you have (to date).

    Awaiting your express permission to do so . .

    Warmly,
    Rose (aka sousababy)

  2. tech writers says:

    I guess that only if you have done several task at a time.

  3. Shubham from Android Apps says:

    LOL very funny post. I must say that you are also a super hero and your super power is writing :P
    Shubham recently posted..Angry Birds Space Complete Walkthrough guide of Pig Bank 1-15My Profile
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  4. Bizz from getting rid of bed bugs says:

    I wish I’d found this post before I bought the suit. Sound advice, as it now hangs in my closet, gathering dust and moths…
    Bizz recently posted..Is a Wolf spider poisonous and how do you even know that they are Wolf spiders in the first place…?!My Profile

  5. Jym says:

    Ha! Most people don’t realize that you have to practice super powers before you really get the hang of them.

    That’s why they give up flying after jumping out of their first tree.

    Such a shame.
    Jym recently posted..25 Ways to Discover Good Blog Topics in Your NicheMy Profile
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    • Astro Gremlin from funny jokes says:

      Good one, Jym. Practice jumping out of small trees or off a kitchen chair in the beginning. If you have the power to fly it will gradually begin to show itself. If you do not experience progress after about a month of this activity, your power may lie elsewhere.
      Astro Gremlin recently posted..7 Funny Amazon Customer Reviews My Profile

  6. Jack from TheJackB says:

    I am more of the lone wolf type of superhero. A sidekick would be nice, but I kind of like being on my own.

  7. Shiva says:

    Hi Astro,
    I can see that some of the points you have mentioned as to how to be a super hero fits a blogger too, things like patience, practice, joining league etc seems to be tips that can help a lot. None the less I do not know if you want to compare a blogger as a super hero or is just a plain jane how to be a super hero post, I tried to see the alternate meaning and was pretty helpful ;)
    Shiva recently posted..5 Distinct Ways To Lead The Social Media ContestMy Profile
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  8. Hey Mitz, great to see you! Thanks for commenting.
    Administrator recently posted..Superheros Among Us: The Key ManMy Profile
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  9. mitz says:

    Hi Astro
    I like it when you say “Don’t get the suit right away” but I am the opposite here. i would get the suit so I could feel like a hero and live up to the suit as quick as possible. LOL I am a bit crazy though! :)

  10. Amy Turner from Credit Donkey says:

    Lol…I can still charge the costume, er the suit, I mean to my credit card. I promise to pay the full amount of the bill so they won’t dig deeper on those very expensive items. Btw are you including girls on these superheroes? Because we do have super power you know :)
    Amy Turner recently posted..Best Credit Cards for Young AdultsMy Profile

  11. Joe says:

    Great advice for superheros or even just people who want to be super in their side businesses!

    If that wasn’t the point you were making then clearly I’m over analyzing things :)
    Joe recently posted..Essential Questions To Ask When Shopping For A Web DeveloperMy Profile

  12. Thanks, Steve! I never assume stuff is funny just because it makes me laugh.
    Administrator recently posted..How to Be a Superhero: Tips If You Have a Super PowerMy Profile
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  13. Steve says:

    Haha! Love this! Very funny stuff. Now I just need to get my superpower. Where is that radioactive spider?
    Steve recently posted..Bad Internet Marketing Advice: 19 Recommendations Ruining your Online EffortsMy Profile
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