The world of comic superheros has its favorites and its forgotten
Here are 7 more crimefighters held back by modest to completely lame superpowers.
Not Bad Idea Guy
Power: Excels at brainstorming with other superheros and comes up with ideas that are “not bad.”
Notable Accomplishment: In issue #8 of Legion of Costumed Teens, Not Bad Idea Guy suggests they build a secret underwater lair, near a rocky coast, and use SCUBA gear to enter and exit. The teens decide to build the lair. On land. At a site with adequate parking. In issue #10, Not Bad Idea Guy thinks they should collect dues until they have enough for a down payment on a supersonic rocket craft for group missions. The Costumed Teens opt for chipping in to rent a recreational vehicle. Many of his “get rich” ideas, like selling deep fried chocolate bacon on a stick, are rejected outright.
Adequate Parking Man
Power: When he rides with other superheroes, parking never seems to be a problem.
Notable Accomplishment: Helped a fledgling band of crimefighters, the League of Common Garden Pests, arrive first at a jewelry store robbery despite needing to park a large Chevy van. ”Adequate Parking Man can be annoying, “ says Mole Boy. “He always ‘calls shotgun’ and keeps changing the radio station and fooling with the heater even though he’s not driving. But we take him along because we can almost always find a spot, even at the Minit Mart, where there is lots of crime and only like three parking spaces.”
The Thought Guesser
Power: Can Guess What People are Thinking
Notable Accomplishment: Correctly guessed that the Cobra Gang would return to their usual hideout, and, during a high speed chase, somehow “knew for sure”that the Insurance Man would stop for a potty break. The Thought Guesser is right about 60 to 70% of the time, relying mostly on deduction and facial expressions. Unfortunately, many villains are masked or inscrutable, which brings down the Thought Guesser’s average to about 50%.
Heat Up Faster Boy
Power: Can make stoves, hot plates, toasters, and popcorn poppers heat up somewhat faster.
Notable Accomplishment: Voted Fourth Most Helpful Sidekick at the 1997 Superhero Con. Helps out at the Equitable League’s Sunday breakfasts.
Lizard Youngster
Power: Like some lizards can detach part of his rear end when frightened or pursued.
Notable Accomplishment: Lizard Youngster’s strange power has yet to make any real difference in fighting crime.
Insect Summoner
Power: Can summon insects
Notable Accomplishment: Caused the Mauve Mob to swerve off the road after colliding with a swarm of summoned moths. Ruined the Picnic of Evil by summoning ants. Not popular with other superheros. ”If you invite him over, he’s always summoning insects but hasn’t figured out how to make them go away,” says Thunder Lass. ”Not saying it’s not a great power, and he’s against crime and everything, but my secret lair still has a bunch of dead June bugs behind every large appliance. Yuck.”
Katydid Gal
Power: Can turn into a large katydid. Also: Can be summoned by Insect Summoner.
Notable Accomplishment: Katydid Gal uses her loud chirp to signal danger in issue #12 of Junior Justice Jam. Not particularly bright. ”Katy’s cool,” says friend and mentor, Human Grasshopper, who also can be summoned by Insect Summoner. ”She just needs more guidance than other heroes. We go on missions but she usually stays in the car.”
Did you know there are superheroes among us? Check out our profile of The Key Man.




Adequate parking man gets my vote, swiftly followed by heat up faster boy. Instant toast would be nice
Not too keen on the thought guesser guy – sounds sneaky,
Sue
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Sue Neal recently posted..Is This How You REALLY Learn About Blogging?
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Heat up faster boy at least has a power. The Thought Guesser meh.
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AstroGremlin recently posted..Best Aircraft Cable Key Ring and Why Not to Get the Wrong Kind
Gee, Astro G,
I could certainly use Adequate Parking Man’s help. My man-servant never can find parking in downtown Toronto – and I’m fed up with paying outrageous amounts just to see a movie. Another attempt here at shameless self-promotion: http://www.squidoo.com/bring-the-box-office-home
Hi
Wao Deep fried chocolate bacon on stick has a great taste. I eat this first time and my family also like this.
thanks,
Jac Evans recently posted..Should You Buy Solar Deck Lights?
Hi Jac, so it turned out to be not a bad idea after all.
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I never heard these superheroes before. Maybe I’ve read it somewhere but its easily forgotten. We usually remember those who we always see and we think are cool. Like the Batman and the rest.