Endowed with unappreciated superpowers, even more forgotten superheroes astound and confuse.
Hot Plate Man
Power: Has a hot plate and knows how to use it.
In issue #4 of Small Appliance Deeds, Hot Plate Man is heating up some chow for orphans when he notices bank robbers fleeing. Unplugging his hot plate, and leaving lukewarm vittles for the kids, he pursues on foot. But the robbers have a car. The End.
Annoying Laugh Girl
Power: Super annoying laugh that sounds like an asthmatic donkey with hiccups.
Annoying Laugh Girl fights crime by aiding police interrogation. Crime suspects are placed in a room with Annoying Laugh Girl, who watches old Seinfeld episodes. Confession rates skyrocket to 100%.
The Shrubbery Arranger
The Shrubbery Arranger works by night to rearrange shrubberies carelessly planted or arrayed in a pattern he feels is not aesthetically pleasing. On a recent big mission, he digs up and replants three juniper bushes at a Mini Mart.
“They were completely out of alignment and the spacing was hideous,” he tells the night clerk, who confronts the “Disheveled Shoveler” just before the superhero disappears into the gloom of night. Sadly, The Shrubbery Arranger was recently hospitalized for exhaustion after a trip to Redwood National Forest.
Power: Spots lint on people
Ever gone into a big sales meeting with distracting lint on your suit? Then you understand the importance of Lint Lad’s power. Ask him, “Do I look OK?” and the answer is invariably, “No.” Lint Lad continues picking lint from a person until they make him stop.
Finish Your Sentence Man
Power: Uncanny belief that he knows what you are going to say next
Raised in the backwoods of Kentucky, Finish Your Sentence Man confidently knows the end of people’s sentences and blurts them out.
His skills are still being honed. In a recent conversation, a co-worker makes the mistake of hesitating while saying, “Right after work, a girlfriend and I are going to . . .”
“. . . shoot a possum for dinner,” Finish Your Sentence Man adds, nodding.
“No, we’re going to . . . .”
“. . . take the truck into town and pick up some Slim Jims and a six-pack of Ale 8,” offers Finish Your Sentence Man with a grin.
“No, actually, we planned to . . . .”
” . . . whittle! The two of you are gonna whittle. Am I right? Am I right?” chuckles Finish Your Sentence Man
Conversations go on like this until the person assents that Finish Your Sentence Man has finished the sentence correctly.
In yet another tragic superhero saga, Finish Your Sentence Man is pulled over by a police officer who begins to inform him of a burned-out tail light on his pick-up truck. The confident superhero inaccurately finishes the sentences of the officer, and later the desk sergeant and then the judge. Finish Your Sentence Man will be finishing his own sentence in about 2018.
See more forgotten superheroes before there were even more.