Nick and Artie Show

Photo of The Nick and Artie Show  Nick Di Paolo   Artie LangeIf you love comedy, you probably already know Nick DiPaulo and Artie Lange.

In something of a comedy miracle, Nick and Artie now have a show together on radio and the internet.  

The only reason I am writing this post is that locating the Nick and Artie show was like finding the elephants’ graveyard.  

Even if you have Sirius you are not going to find Nick and Artie.  I know, I have Sirius.  I had to search for it.

The Nick and Artie Show is on a website.  Archived. Free.  What?

These two comedy geniuses are hiding out.  They have only 12,000 likes on their Facebook fan page.  What?  

This is the comedy equivalent of finding a cardboard box full of hundred dollar bills behind a dumpster.

Since I discovered Nick and Artie, I have been listening to their on-line collection of shows on my iPhone instead of Sirius.

Ostensibly, a sports talk program, the Nick and Artie show is the funniest material you will find for free, anywhere.  I have Sirius.  I’m listening to them instead of my paid subscription.

Who are Artie and Nick?

If you heard Artie on the Howard Stern show, you miss Artie as much as Billy.

If you’ve heard Nick DiPaulo, you know he is a comedian who will make your brain explode.

Example:  On the Oct. 4 episode of their show, Nick quotes a Don Gavin joke.  Have you seen those Vegas billboards with a 1-800 number to call if you have a gambling problem?  A guy calls the number and says, “The dealer is showing an ace and a three.  And I’ve got a nine.”

These two guys have very similar senses of humor, and memories like elephants.  

Nick is distinguishable from Artie because he has NOT attempted suicide.  Nick also seems moderately more responsible and acts as MC.

Other than that these guys are similar in intellect and wit, and they spend their time trying to crack one another up.  

Why would such smart guys devote themselves to being funny?  How can they know so much about sports, music, and every other thing?  How in the world did we get so lucky that Lange and DiPaulo found one another?  How can it be free on the internet?

If you found a cardboard box of hundred dollar bills behind a dumpster would you ask questions?  Just keep your mouth shut and enjoy.

These two guys in combo are like nitro and glycerin.  They talk about sports.  I couldn’t care less about sports.  I fall on the ground laughing listening to their show.  This is how funny these guys are:  their show is about sports but they will make you laugh if you don’t know a football from a mothball.

Nick and Artie are not “working blue.”  

There are no bad words.  For a club comedian, this is like speaking in haiku verse.  It is a tribute to their genius.  Yes, they engage in drug-related, not politically correct comedy.  But they do not use any word worse than “ass” or “hell.”  

Downside:  If you are not up on current events, or pop culture for the past 45 years, Nick and Artie will lose you on some of the references.  Upside:  You might learn something.

Their minds stuffed with knowledge, Nick and Artie skate near the edge of obscure references.  Artie seems willing to go for deep historical references, and Nick will call him on it, and then make his own call back to a joke made two hours ago.

Here’s the real truth.  Nick and Artie are operating at the edge of their craft.

And now their show is about entertaining one another.  If you can keep up, you will laugh until you can’t breath, just like Nick and Artie do when one cracks up the other one.  

If comedy had a “grand rounds” where you could watch a surgical procedure by two medical geniuses, this would be it.

There is not a phony bone in either of these guy’s bodies on this show.  They are relaxed.

They know, like hunters up in a tree, that laughs are coming their way.  

They relax.  They sit there and talk until the rhythm shows up and they start riffing.  Then the opportunities show up and they shoot the jokes in the head.

Nothing is rehearsed.  Artie was almost hearsed. But he’s alive, alive, oh.  

I cried when Artie almost succeeded in killing himself.  But I said this at the time, “One day Artie and the rest of us are going to look back at this and joke about it.”  That time has come!  

And nobody seems to know about it.  Well, I didn’t.

What else?  The show has snatches of excellent rock music on the front and back end.  I don’t know who is responsible for the song picks, but Artie heard a Styx tune on the opener and threatened to leave.  The announcer is funny, too.  It doesn’t have any commercials in the archives.  

OK. OK where is this comedy paradise?  It’s the Nick and Artie Show.

You’re welcome.